80-uh. Ä Deee Uhhh.
It's really not that hard people.

In the fifth grade I wrote a story and colored a picture of Flat Stanley that won my family a trip to Italy.

My family told me I'd be a writer someday.

I told them that wasn't a real job.

So here I am, eating my words,
and hoping you buy my words.
So I can eat.
A proud supporter of free speech, re-racking your weights, and the oxford comma.

Like my stuff?

Or need a hip young person to show you what the kids are into these days? I got chu.
Contact me
Get my resume here. Or here. Or in my 🍔 menu.